Personalised Office Gifts

The Personalised Roast Book Your Colleague Will Never Forget

A premium hardcover book with a custom cover written about them. Their habits, their quirks, their job title — roasted in print, 200 blank pages inside.

Create your book — €19,95 Browse ready-made titles
Premium hardcover Ships in 3 days From €19,95 Made in Europe
"Sarah's Definitive Guide to Surviving Monday Mornings Without Coffee"
by Her Entire Team, Apparently
200 blank pages inside  ·  Premium hardcover

The cover is the joke. The blank pages are the punchline.

A personalised roast book looks exactly like a serious, well-produced hardcover book. It has a title, a subtitle, an author credit — all written about your colleague specifically.

Open it up and there's nothing inside. 200 pristine blank pages.

It's the kind of gift people put on their desk and show every visitor for the next six months. Cheap enough to feel spontaneous. Quality enough to feel intentional. Funny enough to actually land.

Every office milestone worth marking

The personalised roast book works(wherever there's a colleague who deserves to be gently mocked in print.

👋

Leaving gifts

Send them off properly. A book titled "Everything [Name] Taught Us (About What Not to Do)" hits differently than a card and a bottle of wine.

🎉

Work anniversaries

5 years. 10 years. However long they've been pretending to like the Monday stand-up. Mark the milestone with something that acknowledges the truth.

🚀

Onboarding gifts

Welcome a new hire with a book called "What I'll Definitely Have Figured Out By Week Three." Sets expectations. Gets a laugh. Gets remembered.

🏆

Promotions

"[Name]'s Strategic Vision, Q4 Edition" — delivered to their desk the morning they become a manager. Deniable. Memorable. Slightly accurate.

🎂

Office birthdays

Skip the grocery store cake card. A personalised book about their age, their habits, or their legendary meeting-avoidance strategy lasts longer.

🌅

Retirement

"[Name]'s 30-Year Plan for Finally Taking That Holiday" — the retirement gift that acknowledges the career while looking forward to what comes next.

What other teams have written

The best roast books are specific. The more accurate the title, the harder they laugh.

"Tom's Comprehensive Notes From Every Meeting He Definitely Paid Attention In"
Office leaving gift
"Emma's Proven System for Responding to Emails Before the Third Chase"
Work anniversary · 5 years
"[Name]'s Groundbreaking Ideas From the Monday 9am Stand-Up"
Promotion gift
"The Complete Works of Lars: Everything He Contributed to the Q3 Strategy Deck"
Team farewell collection
"Aisha's Guide to Being the Only Person Who Actually Reads the Slack Updates"
Birthday gift · from the team
"What James Learned in 20 Years of Corporate Life (That He's Actually Allowed to Say)"
Retirement gift

Three steps. Five minutes. Ships in three days.

Creating a personalised roast book takes less time than writing the office card everyone signs in the corridor.

Write the cover

You pick the title, subtitle, and author credit. We give you prompts if you're stuck. This is where the roast lives — make it specific, make it true, make it funny.

Choose your format

Premium hardcover, multiple sizes. Full-colour printing on the cover. 200 blank pages inside, bound to last. Preview it on screen before you order.

We print and ship

Order by 2pm and we process same day. Standard delivery is 2–3 working days within Europe. It arrives looking like a real book — because it is one.

€19,95
Starting price, hardcover
200
Blank pages inside
3 days
Standard delivery in Europe
100%
Custom cover, written by you

Ordering for a whole team?

For onboarding packs, leaving collections, or team-wide gifts — we handle bulk orders with custom arrangements. Same quality, volume pricing, one point of contact.

Corporate gifting →

Frequently asked

What exactly is a personalised roast book?

A personalised roast book is a premium hardcover book with a custom cover written about a specific person — usually a colleague, friend, or family member. You write the cover copy (title, subtitle, author credit). It's printed on a professional hardcover binding with 200 blank pages inside. The cover is the joke; the blank pages complete it.

Do I write the content, or does Empty Book Club write it?

You write the cover copy. That's the point — the personalisation is yours, which makes it actually funny rather than generically witty. We give you prompts and guidance in the creator tool, but the roast comes from you. The production quality comes from us.

How long does delivery take?

We print and process within 1 working day. Standard delivery is 2–3 working days within Europe from our printing facility in the Netherlands. Express shipping options are available at checkout if you need it faster.

Is there anything inside the book?

200 blank pages. That's intentional — the cover is where all the humour lives. Some people actually use the book as a notebook afterwards, which gives the joke a second life every time someone sees the title on their shelf.

Can I order more than one?

Yes. You can create multiple different books in a single session, or order multiples of the same title. For larger team orders — 5 books or more — visit our corporate gifting page for volume pricing and a more streamlined process.

What if I'm not sure what to write?

The creator tool includes prompts based on occasion (leaving gift, birthday, onboarding, etc.) and role. Most people find that once they start thinking about someone's specific habits or quirks, the title writes itself. Give yourself 5 minutes — it's faster than you think.

Create your personalised roast book

Takes 5 minutes. Ships in 3 days. Stays on their desk for years.

Start creating — €19,95 Browse ready-made titles